Let’s Talk: Authenticity

There’s something sacred about being Real. Raw. Honest.

I’ve been told...and even complimented...my whole life on just that... on just how real...raw...and honest I am.

But what I’ve learned is this: While some people admire it... others just can’t handle it... 🤷🏼‍♀️ And that’s okay too!

Because, I didn’t become this way overnight....I used to be afraid to speak up... to say my piece, to stand up for myself...

In fact, the first time I ever really found my voice was when I stood up for someone I loved.

Today’s Silk+Sonder (My fav company) journal prompt hit a nerve...in the best way. It asked me to reflect on how being genuine impacts my relationships. And here’s what I realized:

Being real builds trust.

It invites honest conversations from both sides and keeps resentment from bubbling under the surface. When I’m real... I’m not assuming or letting things slide. I’m asking the hard questions. I’m not pretending to be okay when I’m not. I’m not left wondering if I’m being misunderstood...and neither are they...

It allows me to feel seen, more understood and even loved...And it gives others permission to feel the same.

I grew up with a mom who taught me, “We don’t sweep things under the rug.”

She always said that before there can be reconciliation, there has to be accountability and a real apology. I remember every time I messed up growing up that’s exactly what had to happen first... And looking back, I think that shaped me in a big way.

It’s a huge part of who I am today...in my marriage, in my friendships, in how I show up for family and even strangers. Anyone who knows me now knows I don’t stay silent. I speak up. Always.

And again, I wasn’t always like this...That’s why I’m so proud of the woman I’ve become. Because every time I speak truth, I’m standing up for my inner child...for the girl who couldn’t speak up before. The one who had to rely on her mom or her friends to defend her.

Now? I defend me.

And others i love too of course ♡

I believe in putting it all out there. Owning it. Saying it. Healing... through it.

When you talk about things openly..without blame or shame...it doesn’t push people away...

(if you do it right, lol)

It actually pulls you closer. You grow through the hard stuff.

Conflict isn’t the enemy. Avoidance is.

I've always been an analogy person...(I guess I got that from my mom) so let's go with that...It’s kind of like standing in a grave I've always thought...It's like You’re digging through dirt...it’s messy, uncomfortable, ugly even. But once you get to the bottom...and everything buried has been cleared out? There’s this strange kind of peace...Nothing is hidden anymore. And from that empty place... something new can grow 🌿

(And hey...if it all goes terribly wrong, you could always just lay down in it. 🪦

Kidding! (Sort of LOL)

So....What happens when we choose authenticity?

>>>Confidence.

Peace.

Real, non-surface relationships.

That's what happens.

(And Amen to that...because I cannot do surface relationships or small talk. I just can’t)

Stop living under shame and start cultivating honesty....

Stop performing and people pleasing and start connecting...

Choosing to be genuine won’t always be easy...but it will always be worth it.

I promise you that.

-Kristen, Unfiltered Xo💋

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"Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another." – Ephesians 4:25 (ESV) 🙏

Till next time!