Befriending My Dragons

When I first learned about the dragons that live inside us- the ones born from trauma, loss, and childhood pain- I didn’t realize how many of mine had been roaring for years. But healing has taught me something incredible. You don’t slay your dragons. You befriend them. You learn their language, understand what they were protecting, and finally let them rest.

I discovered mine throughThrough my healing journey, my faith, and learning from Dr. Daniel Amen’s book Your Brain Is Always Listening which I have been listening to on Audible, I have realized that you do not slay your dragons. You befriend them. You understand what they were guarding and you let God turn them into wisdom.

If you have ever carried too much, loved too hard, or felt your emotions burn brighter than others could understand, this one is for you. 🤍

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🧠 The Judgmental Dragon

I used to think my sharpness was anger, but now I see it was discernment waiting to mature. When love felt inconsistent and loyalty fragile, I learned to guard my heart with rules and righteousness. Today, I still see right and wrong clearly but through mercy’s lens. My inner judge became my guardian of truth.

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👑 The Special / Entitled Dragon

Growing up, I learned that being noticed meant being safe. I chased worth through attention not from vanity but from hunger. After my parents’ divorce, my mom’s yeses became my proof that I mattered. As an adult, that voice sometimes still whispers, fight to get what you want. But now I answer, I already have what I need. God’s eyes see me as chosen, not for my shine but for my soul.

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🔥 The Angry Dragon

Anger was my armor. It said, I won’t let you hurt me again. It came from betrayal, fear, and being silenced. But when I met God in the fire, He showed me that anger can be righteous when it’s rooted in truth, not revenge. Now I use it to protect peace, not destroy it. I still feel the heat sometimes, but it burns for justice, not chaos.

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❤️ The Responsible Dragon

This dragon lives in me right now in every list I write, every meal I plan, every load of laundry, and every late-night thought about how to keep everything running. Being a wife has made me responsible in ways I never imagined. I manage, I nurture, I remember what he forgets, I hold the details of our home and the heartbeat of our life together. Sometimes it’s beautiful, the sense of purpose, of partnership, of caring for what we’ve built. And sometimes it’s heavy when I feel like the weight of everything rests on my shoulders. But I’m learning that God didn’t design marriage for one person to carry alone. I can still be strong without doing it all. I can still lead with love and still need rest. And even when I’m tired, I remind myself that being responsible doesn’t mean being alone in it.

> “Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” — Matthew 11:28

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💔 The Grief & Loss Dragon

This one lives closest to my heart. It’s Axel’s pawprints, my Nana’s voice, the ache of distance from family, and the dreams that didn’t go the way I hoped. For years I drowned in the sadness. Now I float on it, using every wave as a way to reach someone else’s shore. Grief has become my ministry. It keeps me tender, not broken.

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✨ The Integration

I no longer call them enemies. The Judgmental Dragon gave me discernment. The Special Dragon taught me to shine with purpose. The Angry Dragon taught me to fight for peace. The Responsible Dragon taught me balance between love and rest. The Grief Dragon taught me compassion through pain.

These dragons are not curses. They are companions that helped me survive until love taught me how to live. I am no longer fragmented. I am whole, holy, and healing.

> “He makes all things new.” -Revelation 21:

Kristen, Unfiltered Xo 💋