Winging it

I used to think high schoolers were so grown up.

Until I was one.

Then I thought college kids had it all figured out.

Cool. Confident. Put together.

Until I became one.

Then I thought adults knew everything. Had a plan. Had a purpose. Had a system.

But now that I’m here?

Let me tell you...

No one knows anything.

We’re all just winging it.

--

I used to think that when I became a wife, I’d suddenly feel wise, grounded, respected, mature.

Like I’d just know how to navigate a marriage...

as if I had a healthy one modeled for me or something.

Like instinct would just kick in and I’d instantly master conflict resolution, emotional regulation, forgiveness, and boundaries.

But then I became a wife... and realized I was still healing my own wounds while learning to love someone else through theirs.

Still figuring out how to hold space for another person without losing myself in the process...

And now?

I catch myself thinking...

maybe when I’m a mom, I’ll finally feel like I have a purpose.

Like I’ll exist for someone else in a way I never have before.

Maybe I’ll have a built-in best friend like my mom does with me.

Someone who needs me you know?

Someone who sees me, and calls me theirs...forever.

I've been told my whole life that that kind of love changes you. That you don't even know who you are until you become a mother...

Maybe that kind of love will fill in all the places that still feel unfinished.

But if I’ve learned anything, it’s this:

Milestones don’t make you ready.

Moments do

The quiet ones.

The messy ones.

The grace-filled, growth-laced, God-has-me-anyway kind of moments.

---

Adulthood isn’t a checklist.

It’s a series of “what the hell am I doing?” moments.

It’s Googling how long chicken lasts in the fridge.

It’s learning emotional regulation in your 20s and still in your 30s and hey, maybe even 40s and beyond.

It’s realizing your parents were just people trying to survive, too.

And honestly?

There’s freedom in that.

Because if everyone’s winging it,

then maybe we don’t have to carry shame when we’re still figuring it out.

Maybe we’re not behind.

Maybe we’re just becoming.

---

So if you’re out here navigating life one deep breath, one bill, one breakdown at a time…

You’re not alone.

You’re not failing.

You’re just human.

And we’re all out here winging it.

---

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

— Proverbs 3:5–6

Kristen, Unfiltered Xo 💋