Chasing Waterfalls 🌊

I saw a TikTok recently that said:

> “The #1 trending song on your birthday is your life’s theme song.”

Naturally, I had to look it up…

And the #1 song on my birthday -

July 12, 1995: Waterfalls by TLC.

I remembered it instantly.

Not just for the ‘90s nostalgia or slow jams I grew up on…

But because that song unlocked a memory I hadn’t touched in years.

One of those moments where time slows down, and you don’t realize until later

how close everything came.

---

It was 2014.

I was 19.

And I was about to uproot my entire life.

Move to Hawaii.

An island. A new start.

A love I desperately wanted to work.

A life that felt exciting-but never stable.

A love that pulled me in, but never anchored me.

I kept seeing stoplights:

🟢 “You love him. Go.”

🟡 “Wait. Breathe. Think… something feels off.”

🔴 “This isn’t peace. Stay.”

I was stuck in an emotional traffic jam with no clear lane, no exit ramp.

Pulled in a thousand directions by love, fear, curiosity, pain, fantasy, excitement, guilt, desire, obligation, doubt.

🟢

🟡

🔴

Looping. Cycling. Back and forth.

Like I was sitting at an emotional intersection

that would never give me a straight answer.

Too many voices.

Some his.

Some mine.

Some family.

Some fear.

Some love.

But none of them sounded like peace.

I never had peace to go.

But I didn’t have peace to stay either.

So I did what I always do when my brain gets too loud:

I got in the car and I drove...

---

The rain was heavy that day.

The kind that makes you turn the music down just to see better.

I didn’t even notice what song was playing…

until my car started to spin.

Fast… but it felt like slow motion.

The tires lost grip.

The wheel jerked in my hands.

And just as the world tilted sideways and everything blurred…

I heard it.

> “Don’t go chasing waterfalls…” 🎶

The car kept spinning-once… twice… three times.

> “Please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you’re used to…” 🎵

The lyrics hit before the crash did.

I had lost control...

I couldn’t stop it.

Seconds later, my car slammed into a ditch.

One inch.

That’s how close I came to hitting a massive tree.

One inch between trauma and tragedy.

Had I hit it…

I might not be here today.

But I wasn’t alone in that car.

God was in the rain.

He was in the timing.

He was in the distance between my bumper and the bark.

And in the lyrics I didn’t even know I needed.

My mom and stepdad rushed to the scene.

I’ll never forget their faces-shaken, pale, quiet.

But it wasn’t just the accident that left me breathless.

It was the realization:

I had been chasing something that wasn’t meant for me.

Running headfirst into love that looked like risk and felt like confusion.

Waterfalls.

Beautiful.

Powerful.

But impossible to hold.

TLC warned me.

God warned me.

And now my own body had joined the chorus-screaming:

“Slow down...”

---

Back then, I thought love had to feel like a tug-of-war.

Like a test. A chase. A risk I had to take.

I watched my first love cross oceans and come back a stranger...

I watched my second love chase fires across state lines...

And years later I stood at the edge again-wondering if love meant leaping… or leaving.

I don’t know-maybe they were both chasing something.

One was running from his past.

The other was chasing adrenaline.

But neither of them were chasing me.

Not choosing me.

Not really.

Not always.

Both times, I stayed.

Both times, I lost them-

but found a little more of myself.

---

That’s when God sent Adrian.

My river.

My peace.

My green light.

Not someone who left.

Not someone I had to chase.

Not someone who rushed ahead or pulled me behind.

But someone who walked beside me-with steady hands and eyes that saw me.

Someone who matched my steps and prayed when I couldn’t.

Someone who's paths, visions and dreams were aligned with mine...

Who didn’t ask me to run… but offered to rest with me.

A love I didn’t have to strive for.

Just receive.

Not yellow.

No blinking caution signs or quiet panic attacks.

Just peace.

Just yes.

Just go.

Because love should feel like a river.

Steady. Grounded. Unrushed.

Not a waterfall you keep chasing…

Not a stoplight blinking in your chest…

But a path you walk together.

---

🙏 A Prayer of Gratitude

Father God,

Thank You for never letting go of me-not in the chaos, not in the confusion, not in the crash.

Thank You for the rivers You’ve led me to after the waterfalls I chased.

For the kind of love that reflects Your patience, Your stillness, Your grace.

I see now that every detour was divine. Every heartbreak was pruning.

Every stoplight You placed was mercy.

And when I was ready… You sent someone who stayed.

Not to complete me, but to remind me that Your timing is peace.

Thank You for Adrian, my green light-and for always being my God light.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

---

💌 To the girl who’s been there…

If you’re reading this with tears in your eyes and a lump in your throat,

feeling stuck at an emotional intersection that won’t turn green,

or chasing something that never feels steady…

I pray you find the kind of love that feels like a river.

The kind that doesn’t demand your wings, your roots, or your peace.

You don’t have to crash to be redirected.

You don’t have to follow anyone who wouldn’t stop to wait for you.

You don’t have to confuse tension with truth.

May your next love feel like ease.

Like still waters.

Like green.

---

📖 “You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.” -Isaiah 55:12 NIV

Kristen, Unfiltered

Xo 💋