The Loophole Kid

I saw a video the other day that made me laugh because it was SO me as a kid 😂

The mom had two rules:

No food in the living room.

No tablet in the kitchen.

So the little girl laid DIRECTLY between both rooms with her snack and tablet like:

“Problem solved.”

And honestly?

That would have been me.

And I’m pretty sure it’ll be my child one day too 😭😂

Not technically breaking the rules.

Just finding the tiny loophole between them like:

“Well… you didn’t SAY I couldn’t do THIS.”

I’ve always had that kind of brain.

The kind that:

• notices details other people miss

• questions wording

• adapts quickly

• finds alternate routes

• looks for solutions instead of dead ends

• immediately starts problem solving

If there’s a wall?

I’m looking for the side door.

If there’s a system?

I’m figuring out how it works.

If there’s a problem?

My brain is already building backup plans before everyone else even reacts.

And honestly? I do think my OCD, anxiety, and even parts of BPD play into that too.

Not in some evil mastermind way people stereotype 😭

More in a: “My brain is constantly scanning, analyzing, predicting, preparing, problem solving, and trying to create safety, certainty, and another option” kind of way.

OCD especially can make someone: • hyper observant

• detail focused

• wording focused

• pattern aware

• mentally analytical

• constantly looking for “what if” scenarios

• mentally searching for solutions and certainty

Anxiety can make your brain constantly try to stay 10 steps ahead so you feel prepared and safe.

And growing up with emotional unpredictability can make someone become EXTREMELY adaptive socially and emotionally.

Some people grow up learning structure.

Some people grow up learning adaptation.

When life feels emotionally unpredictable, intense, unstable, or overwhelming, you become VERY good at reading systems quickly.

You learn:

• how to maneuver

• how to think ahead

• how to avoid conflict

• how to read moods

• how to negotiate

• how to survive emotionally

• how to find another option when things feel impossible

So while other people see “loopholes,” people like me often see possibility.

Breathing room.

Another way through.

And honestly? That trait has helped me survive so many seasons of my life.

And honestly, the older I got, the more intense that became.

Especially after working in restaurants, customer service, retail, call centers, and different jobs where you finally see how systems ACTUALLY work behind the scenes.

Once you’ve worked those jobs, you stop being “just a customer” anywhere 😭😂

You start noticing EVERYTHING.

How managers operate.

How corporations structure policies.

Which employees actually have authority.

What’s a real rule versus a scripted response.

What’s automated.

What’s flexible.

What wording gets different outcomes.

How escalation systems work.

How customer service metrics work.

How companies train employees to respond.

And you start realizing: “Oh… these are systems made by humans. Which means there are usually ways THROUGH them.”

I think part of it also came from learning independence early.

Living on my own.

College.

Living in my car between places for a month at one point by choice just trying to reset and figure life out.

Honestly? I liked living on my own.

Not being in anyone else’s space.

Not being on anyone else’s schedule.

And then later moving states, traveling, becoming a wife, managing a household, navigating bills, insurance, pets, chronic illness, paperwork, finances, and adult life in real time.

At some point you stop panicking every time life throws a problem at you.

Your brain just goes: “Okay. What’s the solution?”

After a while, problem solving almost becomes second nature.

You stop seeing obstacles as dead ends.

You start seeing them as puzzles.

And honestly? I think I’m a lot like my mom in that way too.

She’s the exact same.

Her brain immediately scans for solutions.

Not: “Why is this happening?”

But: “Okay… how do we fix it?”

And I think I inherited a lot of that mindset from her.

The same thing happened with financial struggles too.

Throw a problem in front of me and my brain immediately goes into: “Okay… how do we work around this?”

Honestly, even my husband usually asks ME to handle the calls because somehow I always get through 😭😂

I always get it handled.

I always figure something out.

I always find another option.

Around the automated systems.

Around the scripts.

Around the transfers.

Around the excuses.

Around the “there’s nothing we can do.”

And if I have to escalate to a supervisor?

Cool. Put them on the phone 😭

Because I’ve learned there’s almost ALWAYS another department, another form, another option, another person with more authority, another explanation, another workaround.

There’s usually a way through if you’re willing to keep going long enough to find it.

And honestly? Persistence is HUGE.

Not aggressive screaming persistence 😭

Just… calm, consistent: “Okay, can you help me understand this better?” persistence.

Because I can’t even tell you how many times something eventually worked out AFTER I stopped panicking, prayed about it, kept trying, and eventually let go and let God.

Calls back.

Emails.

Voicemails.

Apologies.

Coupons.

Discounts.

Approvals.

“We approved your refund request.”

“Actually, you WERE correct.”

“We DO accept your insurance.”

“We can make an exception.”

“We found another option.”

I’ve learned that sometimes the first answer isn’t actually the FINAL answer.

Like when a vision center originally told me they didn’t accept my insurance.

Most people probably would’ve just accepted that and moved on.

But my neurologist had specifically ordered the eye exam after my MRI showed signs associated with intracranial pressure issues, including an empty sella finding, because they needed to check my optic nerves for papilledema.

So I called my insurance company directly and asked questions until I FULLY understood it.

Turns out I WAS correct.

So I called the vision center back, explained everything, spoke to management, and suddenly: “Oh yes, you’re absolutely right. We apologize.”

And they scheduled me immediately.

And honestly? I’m really glad I kept pushing and advocating for myself because they DID end up finding papilledema in my right optic nerve.

It was swollen.

And that discovery is what started the whole process of: neurology, more testing, the lumbar puncture, the blood patch afterward, and now finally being on Diamox while praying it continues helping lower some of the intracranial pressure and protect my vision.

It doesn’t magically cure everything overnight.

But moments like that taught me something really important:

Persistence matters.

Not every closed door is actually locked.

Sometimes people are misinformed.

Sometimes systems are confusing.

Sometimes employees don’t fully know policies.

Sometimes you really DO have to ask more questions.

And honestly? I think over time I’ve learned the difference between pushing from anxiety… and pushing because something genuinely doesn’t feel right.

There’s a balance there.

And honestly? I think I got some of that persistence from my parents too 😭😂

I remember hearing my dad on the phone for HOURS sometimes trying to get something fixed, corrected, refunded, approved, lowered, explained, whatever it was…

But somehow? He usually got what he wanted in the end.

Although I will say… I’m probably a LITTLE calmer than my dad was 😭😂

I’m usually not screaming and cussing people out on the phone LOL.

But I’m also not exactly my mom’s super sweet nicey nicey approach either.

I think I landed somewhere in the middle.

Firm enough that people know I’m serious.

Calm enough that they’ll still help me.

And after enough calls, you honestly start learning tone too.

When to be soft.

When to push harder.

When to stay patient.

When to escalate.

When to play good cop.

When to play bad cop.

Even Adrian taps in sometimes now 😭😂

He acts like he doesn’t know what he’s doing, but honestly he does.

And sometimes certain people genuinely respond differently when a man steps into the conversation, especially in more authority based situations.

So we’ve honestly learned when to tag team things too.

When I should handle it.

When he should step in.

When to stay calm.

When to push harder.

At this point it’s basically become one of our weird adult survival skills 😭😂

How I learned to call companies directly and break down bills line by line.

How I learned what could be removed, adjusted, downgraded, discounted, or changed to lower costs.

Learning assistance programs, payment plans, and resources.

Figuring out what could actually be changed instead of just accepting the first number or panicking at the total.

And realizing most of it is just numbers somewhere on a computer screen.

Accounts.

Systems.

Programs.

Percentages.

Buttons.

Policies.

Options.

Once you realize that, things stop feeling quite as impossible.

Because everything is a system.

And systems can usually be navigated.

Then later in life, chronic illness made that part of me even stronger.

Because once you become chronically ill, especially with complicated conditions, you learn VERY quickly that you HAVE to advocate for yourself.

You start researching medications.

Reading test results.

Tracking symptoms.

Learning insurance systems.

Understanding disability paperwork.

Researching conditions.

Learning specialist language.

Finding treatment options.

Figuring out what actually helps versus what doesn’t.

You basically become part patient, part researcher, part advocate 😭

Chronic pain.

Fatigue.

OCD.

Anxiety.

Fibromyalgia.

Pseudotumor cerebri.

Papilledema.

Medication side effects.

Doctor appointments.

Paperwork.

Insurance battles.

Mental overload.

Financial stress.

Relationship challenges.

Moving states.

Grief.

Healing.

And honestly? Maybe that’s part of why my brain hyper focuses on fixing smaller things sometimes 😭

I can’t magically cure my chronic illnesses overnight.

But I CAN call and lower a bill.

Fix paperwork.

Find another option.

Get an answer.

Solve a problem.

Figure something out.

And sometimes those little wins make life feel a little less overwhelming.

My brain has spent years asking:

“Okay… but what CAN we do?”

And honestly… I hope my future child inherits that part of me.

Not the stress behind it sometimes.

Not the survival mode.

But the creativity.

The resilience.

The intelligence.

The “there HAS to be another way through this” mindset.

Because life gets hard.

And people who know how to adapt, think outside the box, and problem solve tend to survive hard seasons differently.

That little girl in the video wasn’t being bad 😂

She was being smart.

And if my future daughter does something like that one day, I already know I’ll be standing there trying SO hard not to laugh because…

same, honestly.

And honestly?

I don’t even think humans were originally meant to live like this.

Running on schedules.

Punching time clocks.

Stressing over numbers.

Paying bills until we die.

Living inside stress, pressure, schedules, paperwork, quotas, and survival mode all the time.

Working like rats in a maze just trying to keep up with the next payment, next deadline, next system, next problem.

And then people wonder why pharmacy lines are starting to look as long as fast food drive thrus 😭

Everyone’s nervous systems are fried.

People are exhausted.

Burned out.

Overstimulated.

Under rested.

Disconnected.

Running in circles just trying to survive another week.

And then on top of normal adult life… some of us are navigating bodies and minds that already feel overloaded before the day even starts 😭

Trying to balance survival, responsibilities, health, appointments, finances, and everyday life while your nervous system is already exhausted is HARD.

Sometimes it feels like modern life just keeps stacking pressure on top of already overwhelmed human beings.

And I think deep down, part of us KNOWS this isn’t how life was originally supposed to be.

We were made for Eden.

For peace.

For closeness with God.

For safety.

For rest.

For abundance without fear.

But this is a fallen world now.

So we adapt.

We survive.

We learn systems.

We find loopholes.

We figure things out the best we can while we’re here.

But one day?

No more rat race.

No more pain.

No more endless striving.

No more surviving.

Just peace.

Just restoration.

Just home.

Scripture:

“And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain.”-Revelation 21:4

Kristen, Unfiltered Xo 💋