Survival Guide: How I healed off the meds

So many people ask me:

How did you survive the depression without meds?

How did you pull yourself out of the fog, the panic, the shame spiral?

How are you still standing?

The answer isn't easy, but it's real. And it’s mine.

I was on the meds for 3 years.

And then I made the decision to fight to get off of them- slowly, intentionally, and with support.

I’m glad I did.

Because what I found on the other side wasn’t just relief…

It was restoration.

This is my survival guide - the exact tools, practices, and choices I used to fight back against depression, anxiety, chronic pain, and mental illness… without medication.

And no, it didn’t happen overnight.

But yes -I truly believe healing is possible.

---

God saved me first.

Worship music when I couldn’t speak.

Devotionals when I couldn’t think straight.

Prayer when I felt like no one understood.

Church when I didn’t feel like getting out of bed.

God met me in the mess. And He stayed.

---

I cut the ties.

The ones who made me feel small.

The friends who disappeared when I needed them.

The guilt-trippers, the manipulators, the ones who only loved a version of me that no longer exists.

I let them go- not in anger, but in peace.

Because healing meant leaving old wounds behind.

---

I stopped warming up leftovers.

Aka… the same roster of men I kept entertaining out of loneliness, habit, or fear of starting over.

I chose self-love instead. And that’s when real love found me.

A year later, I was engaged.

Now? I’ve been married almost two years.

With him for nearly five.

That’s what happens when you stop settling and start healing. ♡

---

I found therapy that actually fit me.

Not just someone to nod and take notes.

But someone trained in the depths of what I was really facing - BPD, OCD, trauma, pain.

I started the Integrate BPD Program by Ashley Zahabian.

And I finally felt understood.

Not crazy. Not broken. Just fragmented -and worthy of reintegration.

---

I built a life that loved me back.

A husband who holds my hand through the hard days.

A marriage that fights with me, not against me.

People who call me out and call me higher.

I stopped chasing people.

And started choosing peace.

---

I chose self-love like it was medicine.

Because it is.

I found Silk + Sonder - a monthly journal that somehow understood me better than most people ever have.

I wrote and wrote and wrote - even when it didn’t make sense.

I started a blog. And suddenly, my voice had a place to land.

I moved my body.

I drank water like my life depended on it (because it did).

I cut out sugar and added Vitamin D.

And no - not just the kind in a bottle.

I underestimated the power of sunshine for way too long.

It’s healing just to step outside for a few minutes a day.

Sit on the porch.

Walk your dog.

Get the mail.

Go to the park.

Just breathe.

Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do… is stand in the light.

I got massages and chiropractic adjustments.

And I cried through every deep tissue release - emotional and physical.

I got my life back, one choice at a time.

---

If you’re struggling…

If you feel like nothing is working…

If you’ve tried everything except giving yourself fully to the process…

This is your sign to try again. Differently.

Slowly.

Intentionally.

Spiritually.

God, therapy, self-love, discipline, and truth -they can work together.

I feel better now emotionally, mentally and physically at almost 30 than I have in years!

Think of it like a prescription. One that will heal you, not numb you.

You have to feel it to heal it.

This is my survival guide.

And it’s just the beginning.

---

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”- Psalm 34:18

Kristen, Unfiltered

Xo 💋