Stripped, But Refined: How Loss Shaped Me Into the Image of Christ

When my therapist asked me in our session today, "How has your disability benefited you?" ... I froze...I'm not usually speechless but today I was...Because let’s be honest: there is no benefit to waking up in pain everday, to needing help, to losing your independence... It felt like a loaded question. I had nothing to say. There was no benefit.

But she quickly clarified... she didn’t mean to suggest disability itself was a blessing...What she meant was ...how has what you’ve been stripped of ...made you more Christlike?

And that hit me.

My dependence on others has humbled me.

My dependence on God has sustained me.

My voice has deepened through my writing.

My faith has sharpened through the fire.

And maybe, just maybe, there is purpose in the pain ....not because it’s fair, but because God wastes nothing.

Being disabled isn’t a benefit. It’s hard. It’s humbling. It’s exhausting. But the fruit it’s produced in my spirit, my faith, and my calling? Maybe that’s where the holy transformation lives.

---

1. Suffering Connected Me to Jesus

Isaiah 53:3 says Christ was “a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief.”

I now understand that in my own body. The pain I live with daily ...Fibromyalgia, emotional scars, the unpredictable rollercoaster of BPD and OCD ... has become the very soil where I’ve met Him most intimately.

My suffering isn't just mine anymore. It’s shared with Jesus.

---

2. I Was Humbled ...and Found Holy Ground

Jesus didn’t cling to His status. He emptied Himself (Philippians 2:7).

When life stripped me of my old identity ...my job, my pace, my plans... I saw my pride fall too. I was forced to need. To ask. To receive. And in that humility, I found God’s hand was already there, holding me.

---

3. Dependence Stopped Feeling Like Weakness

When you physically can’t do what others can, you learn to live differently.

I have no illusion that I can carry my life alone. But Jesus said, “Apart from Me, you can do nothing” (John 15:5).

My disability taught me what those words really mean. I depend on Him not as a crutch ... but as my strength.

---

4. I Became More Empathetic. More Real.

Jesus never shied away from the broken. He became broken for us.

When you know pain, you stop judging others who are in it. You stop offering shallow encouragement. You start showing up with gentleness, because you know.

My scars taught me how to love better.

---

5. My Joy Is Different Now ... Deeper

It’s not tied to things going right.

It’s found in quiet mornings with God.

In cuddles with my cat.

In the arms of my husband.

In the moments when I feel seen by God even when no one else gets it.

That’s the kind of joy no diagnosis can take away...

---

If God is Going to Make You Like Jesus...

Was there ever a time Jesus felt lonely? Yes.

Was He ever misunderstood, dismissed, or judged unfairly? Absolutely.

Did people disappoint Him? Betray Him? Abandon Him? Yes.

Was He tempted to give up? To feel discouraged? Yes.

Was He ever in pain...physical, emotional, spiritual? Yes.

And yet...He stayed. He prayed. He obeyed. He endured.

So if God is going to make you like Jesus… He’s not just going to shape your personality, He’s going to refine your character. He’s going to take you through deserts of waiting, gardens of grief, and crosses of surrender.

Not because He’s cruel. But because He’s committed to your transformation. Because He sees beyond what you’re losing...and knows what He’s building.

God didn’t spare His own Son from difficulty. So why do we expect He’ll spare us?

He won’t. Not from the pain. But He will carry us through it.

Because being made into the image of Christ doesn’t happen on mountaintops ...It happens in valleys. In hospitals. In therapy sessions. In long nights of prayer. In rooms where you feel forgotten. In moments where you feel undone.

But the miracle? You’re not being destroyed. You’re being made new.

I pray God continue to mold me and to sharpen me into a better Christian, wife, daughter and person...

---

Scripture to Carry With You...

“But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” - 2 Corinthians 12:9

Kristen, Unfiltered Xo 💋