Beyond the 9-to-5: Rediscovering Our True Identity in Christ

For ten years, I wore many hats...greeting guests as a restaurant host, balancing trays as a server, typing as a receptionist, and later stepping into retail as a sales associate, sales lead, and keyholder. I even spent two of those years taking college classes on my days off. That rhythm of clocking in, learning new skills, and earning a paycheck gave me a clear sense of purpose and identity.

But over time, the pace began to wear on me. By 2020, I found myself searching for something less physically demanding...something I thought would be easier on my body. I turned to DoorDash, assuming that sitting in the car, picking up and dropping off food, would be a gentler option. But it didn’t take long to realize that even that took a toll. The constant driving, getting in and out of the car, the unpredictability of it all...it only seemed to make things worse.

By 2021, my fibromyalgia symptoms had intensified, and I was finally diagnosed. That clarity was both a relief and a turning point. I didn’t stop working all at once...but rather, I slowly faded out of the workforce, each attempt becoming harder to sustain. Eventually, I found myself sitting in the quiet reality so many of us face at some point: Who am I if I’m not working? What do I do now??

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The Great Identity Shift:

When the paycheck disappears, it’s easy to feel disoriented... I’d wake up some mornings wondering, Am I just a wife? A cook? A housekeeper? Folding laundry, cooking dinner, and caring for pets and bills can feel endless when there’s no larger framework to hang your self-worth on. That became even harder to grasp when Fibromyalgia slows down my ability to even do those things..

You begin to place your value in what you do: your job title, your role as husband or wife, father or mother, even in your bank balance or appearance.

But any of that can change....What will never change is being a daughter or son to the One who is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

It wasn’t just me. Last September, my husband Adrian’s store closed without warning. For nine months he wrestled with feeling useless...he struggled with not being the provider anymore and needing to ask for help from families, church etc In the in between...wondering what his value was when that name tag and paycheck were gone. And long before us, my mom faced her own seasons of identity shift: years as a stay-at-home mom, followed by later entering into the demanding role of caring for her own mother with Alzheimer’s. In each season-working outside the home, nurturing her children, or serving as a devoted caregiver...she learned the same truth: our worth comes from being God’s beloved child, not from any earthly role.

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Our True Calling: Proclaim, Connect, Explore

God didn’t design us simply to punch a clock or stay inside our comfort zones. From the Garden of Eden in Genesis ...his plan for us is far bigger:

1. Proclaim His Word.

Every conversation and act of kindness is an opportunity to point someone to Jesus. Whether you’re chatting with a neighbor over the fence, mentoring a young coworker, or sharing your story in a small group, you are spreading hope.

2. Build Deep Relationships.

We weren’t meant to walk this life alone. Invite a friend over for coffee. Host a family dinner. Join a weekly Bible study. And don’t underestimate the power of simplicity...skip the phones, go to the park with your spouse, and just talk and laugh. Those moments of genuine connection feed our souls in a way that no job ever could.

We Weren’t Always Living Like This...

Life wasn’t always about rushing through Monday to Friday, living for the weekend, and tying our worth to a paycheck. It didn’t used to be like this.

There was a time when things were slower, simpler, and more meaningful. People traded goods and services instead of clocking in and out. You’d exchange vegetables from your garden for fresh eggs, or help mend clothes in return for someone fixing your roof. It was about community ...sharing, supporting, and showing up for each other.

Work wasn’t about chasing deadlines or sacrificing your health for a company that barely knew your name. It was about living. Breathing. Contributing to something real.

I miss that idea of slow living. I crave it. And deep down, I think a lot of us do. Because God didn’t create us to live exhausted, burned out, or spiritually disconnected...Just barely making it through the week. He created us for presence. For relationship. For rest. For purpose.

3. Explore His Creation.

Most people spend their entire lives in one hometown....same routine, same faces, same views. But God made a vast world for us to see. My husband and I bonded over our shared love of trying new things. We’ve filled our resumes with dozens of jobs, moved to new cities, and tasted new foods simply because we believe life is too short to stay in one place or do just one thing. From road trips to hotel stays to cabin vaycays. From cities to mountains...each adventure reminds us of God’s creativity and love for variety. We have a whole world to explore...

Yet, as much as our hearts long to roam, we face the hard reality: money makes the world go ’round. . . Not everyone can afford plane tickets or to move to a new city. Health issues, family responsibilities, and tight budgets can keep us rooted. That limitation can be painful...lit’s a reminder that our time here is short and our resources are finite.

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Living Each Day with Kingdom Priorities:

When we stop tying our worth to a job title or paycheck, our everyday lives begin to reflect what truly matters:

Time with God: Start your morning with Scripture, spend five minutes in prayer, or listen to a worship song. Those small habits anchor our identity in Christ.

Presence with Loved Ones: Plan simple date nights...walk in the park with phones left behind, cook a new recipe together, or share a board game by candlelight. These are the moments we’ll remember long after our paychecks are gone.

Self-Care as Worship: Our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit. Whether it’s physical therapy exercises, a gentle yoga stretch, or a quiet at-home spa night, caring for ourselves honors the Creator.

Mental Health Stewardship: Use journaling, therapy appointments, or the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique when anxiety creeps in. Taking care of our minds is just as important as caring for our bodies.

Creative Calling: Write a blog post that encourages others, record a short testimony video, or start a small worship playlist to share. Creativity is another way to reflect God’s image and connect hearts.

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A Hope That Outlasts Every Limit:

We may never see every city, every country, or every mountaintop here on earth. Our budgets and bodies may hold us back. But thanks be to God, our story doesn’t end in these limitations. Revelation promises a new heaven and a new earth where we will walk with Jesus forever. There will be no more sorrow, no more ‘too short’ days...Only endless opportunities to explore a renewed creation, just as God intended back in Genesis.

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Seasons of Rest and Service

No matter your current season...stay-at-home spouse/mom or dad....care giving a parent, or living with chronic illness...know this: your season is not “less than.”

The stay-at-home wife or mom isn’t “just” doing chores or cooking; she’s shaping a sanctuary of love and faith.

The caregiver feeding and holding a suffering loved one is living out Christ’s compassion in the most tangible way.

The one who must rest is showing dependence on our Heavenly Father, trusting Him to carry what we cannot.

None of us are defined by a punch card, a job title, or a passport stamp. We are God’s children...chosen, loved, and called to reflect Jesus in every ordinary moment.

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Scripture to Anchor Your Heart:

“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Psalm 139:13-14

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Kristen, Unfiltered Xo 💋