🧁🎂30 Lessons In 30 Years 🎉🥂

Hello everyone, and welcome to this very special post.

Today is my 30th birthday (July 12th, So a little late posting, Just got back from Florida celebrating)

I feel so blessed to celebrate not just another year of life, but three entire decades of lessons, growth, tears, laughter, faith, and love.

To mark this milestone, I wanted to share 30 of the most important lessons I’ve learned. These are the truths I want to remember and carry with me into this next chapter.

Because if life were like the movies and we skipped straight from thirteen to thirty, we’d miss all the lessons in between.

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30 Lessons... 13 to 30... Here We Go!

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Lesson #1: On Mother/Daughters

They say your mom is your best friend, and I know it’s true. Mother-daughter relationships aren’t always perfect, but the love between us runs deeper than any disagreement, spans every mile between us, and only grows stronger with time.

I’m so grateful for my mom being my day one. There is no one else I’d want to be my mother, and I thank God for her. I know I’m not the most perfect daughter that ever lived, but I promise to spend my life trying to make her proud.

I’ll always appreciate Mike for choosing to love me when he didn’t have to, for stepping in and stepping up in ways I’ll never forget. If it weren’t for him, we wouldn’t have much of the family we have today. I see that, I appreciate it, and I’m so thankful for it.

Speaking of parents, they’re not perfect. Don’t blame them-they did the best they could with the tools, knowledge, and emotional, mental and financial maturity they had at the time.

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Lesson #2: On Friendships

Don’t get caught up in what others say about you. Instead, pay attention to why they feel comfortable talking about you behind your back, and then ask yourself if that’s something you’re okay with.

True friends reveal themselves over time...through loyalty, consistency, and how they show up for you when life gets messy. The real ones won’t flinch when you're vulnerable, and they celebrate your joy like it's their own. They become family.

The fake ones? They eventually fade awa-or get blocked, lol.

If you get the chance, live with your best friend at least once. It’s like having a sleepover every night with someone who gets you, makes you laugh until you cry, and knows when to pass the snacks and when to pass the tissues. Life is sweeter with them by your side 💛

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Lesson #3 (On Suicide)

Never make a permanent decision based on a temporary emotion, depression, or season.

Think of your life like a book of chapters.

If you end your story at chapter 7, you’ll never know what could have happened at chapter 18.

To this day, I thank God I wasn’t successful at ending my life at 19 years old.

It’s something I couldn’t talk about for a long time, but it’s one of the most important lessons I’ve ever learned-and the reason I’m still here today.

So I share.

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Lesson #4: On Love Triangles & Moving On

If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if the first person were everything you ever wanted, you wouldn’t have fallen for the second.

You cannot start a new chapter by re-reading an old one. Remember, just because a decision hurts doesn’t mean it was the wrong choice.

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Lesson #5: On God

My mom always said that all she wants for her kids...For me and for my little brothers...Is for us to remember to keep God at the center of everything. She said if we keep God close, she'd be at peace knowing that one day she won't be here anymore.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized she really is right. Now it’s the same thing I want for myself and for Ethan and Noah.

I can’t count how many times I’ve felt like everything was falling apart. Even when I didn’t have the words, I would put on Christian music or say a simple prayer, and I’d immediately feel more at peace.

Honestly, I don’t know how I got through the first 19 years of my life without God.

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Lesson #6: On Social Media

Behind every perfect smile or picture on social media, there’s a hidden story. No one’s life is perfect. Don’t compare your real life to someone else’s highlight reel.

It’s why I try to post the more vulnerable things so others see that. ♡

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Lesson #7: On People

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

Learn from those who’re here for a reason. Appreciate the moments with those who’ve stepped into your life for a season. Nurture those meant to last a lifetime.

Never beg anyone to stay. What’s meant for you will always be yours. You should never have to chase after it.

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Lesson #8: On Forgiveness

Always forgive, even when it feels impossible.

As God commands us in the Bible-not just seven times, but seventy times seven.

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When you struggle to let go of anger or hurt, ask yourself: What if God chose not to forgive me?

Thank goodness we have a compassionate Father who forgives endlessly.

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Lesson #9: On Humility

In life, your patience when you have nothing and your attitude when you have everything define who you are.

I’ve learned a great deal about humility from both ends of the spectrum. I’ve come to understand that asking for help in hard times isn’t a weakness..it’s a sign of strength.

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Lesson #10: On Self-Questioning

If you ever find yourself wondering whether you’re a bad person, know that the odds are in your favor...you’re not.

As they say, “Bad people don’t question it,” because they don’t care enough to reflect.

That’s exactly why self-reflection matters so much ...and why maybe you should start.

What I’ve realized is many people don’t really know themselves. Over the last five years, I’ve read a lot of books, done a lot of therapy, and invested in real personal growth and healing.

I think everyone should take time to figure out things like: What are your core values and beliefs? Your non-negotiables? Your love languages? Your attachment style?

It’s about knowing who you are so you can show up as your best, most authentic self.

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Lesson #11: On Control

I’ve struggled with wanting to control everything for as long as I can remember. I always felt like if I could plan it all perfectly or hold it all together...maybe I could change the outcome, but I’m not God.

This year, being officially diagnosed with OCD really forced me to see those patterns in a new way. It helped me understand that control isn’t about perfectionism but fear. It's about trying to manage the anxiety inside me by managing everything outside me.

But no matter how hard you try, you can’t control other people, the world, or the future. You can only truly control your own actions, your thoughts, and your reactions.

Letting go of that need for control is both freeing and challenging at the same time, and it’s something I still battle with every day.

Sometimes, the best thing you can do is let go, let God, and trust that His timing is perfect...even when it doesn’t make sense in the moment.

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Lesson #12: On Walls

My mom once said this to me during a time in my life when I felt I had to close off my heart. She reminded me that building walls might keep pain away for a while, but it also keeps out the love that’s trying to reach you.

One of my favorite quotes is:

That’s always stayed with me, because it’s true. Loving people means opening yourself up to being hurt sometimes. But it also means choosing the people who are worth that risk, and letting yourself experience the deep, meaningful connections that make life beautiful.

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Lesson #13: On Love

Love can be found in the most unexpected places.

I’ve learned that the definition of love is best said by the Creator of love Himself:

> “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

My mom once told me: replace the word “love” with their name and ask yourself if that’s them. And if you really want to test yourself, replace the word “love” with your name and ask yourself...Is that you?

It’s a way to check yourself and humble yourself. Because while we can see when someone else needs to work on themselves, we also have to be able to look within.

Other lessons I’ve learned about love: love is deliberate. Love is hard. Love is forgiveness. Love is action. Love is pain and sacrifice. But mostly... love is seeing the darkness in another person and defying the impulse to jump ship.

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Lesson #14: On Being Real

Never put on a fake face.

Growing up, I learned that pretending to be someone else to make others comfortable only caused me anxiety and even panic attacks.

Listen to your body. If you don't feel comfortable, leave. If you have something to say, speak up.

Never force yourself to be someone you're not, stay somewhere you don't want to be, or feel something you don't.

Never be sorry for being a genuine person. Always be yourself. The right people will love you for it...and if they don't, they aren't your people.

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Lesson #15: On Adventure

There’s an entire world outside your hometown waiting to be explored.

I was always so afraid to fly, but with the right person and at the right time, I learned so much by leaving Florida three years ago. Even with all its hardships, I wouldn’t trade those experiences for anything.

There’s so much more to life than the same cities, the same streets, and the same people you’re used to. Besides, you can always come back home...but the lessons learned from venturing out are priceless.

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Lesson #16: On Time & Presence

Look up from your phone more often. Put it away.

One day, that screen will still be there, but the person in front of you might not.

And while you’re at it, visit your grandparents. Cherish those moments, because time with them is truly a gift.

Something I wish I did more often.

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Lesson #17: On Saving the Night

No matter how ruined a day might seem, until you fall asleep there’s always a chance to set things right and to remember that day for something else.

I’ll never forget the night Adrian and I turned the day around by swallowing our pride, apologizing, and making amends. It turned into a magical evening in our little town on Haywood Street in North Carolina and became one of my favorite memories with him.

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Lesson #18: On Individualism

Never settle for a supporting role in your own life.

You deserve to be the main character, the star of your own story. Never let yourself fade into the background of someone else's life or be the second choice.

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Lesson #19: On Memories

Take pictures and videos of every moment. Capture the memories, because one day they may be all you have left.

Those who criticize you for taking “too many” will later wish they had preserved their own.

Something I will never regret is having too many photos.

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Lesson #20: On Decision-Making

Never reply in anger or make major decisions when you’re feeling down.

Sometimes, a good night’s sleep can bring the clarity you need.

Also...never make a permanent decision in a temporary emotion or season.

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Lesson #21: On Duality

I used to say, “If they wanted to, they would,” but now I understand that wanting isn’t always enough.

Sometimes you can desire something deeply but still not be able to make it happen.

Recently God placed the word duality on my heart. I’ve learned that two things can be true at the same time.

Life is full of dual truths, and learning to live with them is part of growing up.

There’s a difference between ability and intent.

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Lesson #22: On Perfectionism

Perfectionism has nothing to do with what perfection actually is, but with the idea of being or doing enough.

We’re conditioned to equate productivity with worth, but expecting to have it all together is an exhausting illusion.

We will never be perfect...and if we were, we wouldn’t need God.

So give yourself grace. We are not just humans doing...we are human beings. It’s okay to just be. ✨

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Lesson #23: On Communication and Understanding

Communication is the foundation of every relationship, but it’s true understanding that makes it thrive.

You can talk for hours, but if the other person isn’t really listening, nothing changes.

Real connection happens when both people speak with honesty, listen with intention, and choose to grow together.

That’s when healing begins and change truly happens.

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Lesson #24: On Gray Areas

When I was 24, I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. It made me see everything...people, situations, even myself...In black and white. It was my mind’s way of coping with intense emotions and trying to make sense of the chaos.

But I’ve learned that life isn’t that simple. People aren’t all good or all bad...there’s ’la whole lot of gray in between.

I’m learning to hold space for those complexities… to know someone can have flaws and still matter, and that I can mess up and still be worthy of love.

I'm learning to live in the gray. ♡

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Lesson #25: On Healing

Remember that what was done to you wasn’t your fault...but your healing is your responsibility.

If you don’t take the time to heal, you risk passing that pain on to those who never meant to hurt you.

It’s about not bleeding on others who didn’t cut you.

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Lesson #26: On Youth & Independence

Live on your own at least once. Live with your best friend at least once. And then live with a partner.

Some of my happiest memories are from the days I lived on my own and with my best friend Megan.

Those independent days taught me so much about who I am.

True friendships only grow stronger despite distance or time apart ...the kind of friendships where when you see each other again it’s like no time has passed. ♡

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Lesson #27: On Strength

To quote my favorite character ever:

Sometimes, the hardest moments teach you the most about yourself.

I even have a necklace my Meemaw once gave me that says “You are stronger than you think.” I still have it, and I look at it often and think of her. It’s a reminder that I am strong. And so are you.

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Lesson #28: On Chronic Pain & Fibromyalgia

Living with fibromyalgia has taught me that pain is not just physical ...it’s emotional, mental, and spiritual too.

It’s waking up tired. It’s making plans you have to cancel. It’s feeling invisible because others can’t see your struggle.

But it’s also strength. It’s courage in the quiet. It’s resilience that nobody claps for.

I’ve learned that healing isn’t linear, and rest is productive. That just because I carry it well doesn’t mean it isn’t heavy.

I’ve learned to advocate for myself, to listen to my body, and to stop apologizing for needing to slow down.

Above all, I’ve learned that God is closest to the brokenhearted-and on the hardest days, that’s what gets me through.

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Lesson #29: On Self-Love

Figure out what you want, what you don’t, and who you truly want to be-and start showing up as that person every day.

Put in the work and choose to love yourself-flaws and all.

Self-love is crucial because after all, you're the only one who lives in your head, feels your feelings, and moves in your body.

Say your affirmations. A positive mind leads to a positive life.

Remember, you have to feel it to heal it. The human body is extremely adaptable, but you only have one-so take care of it.

And lastly, the only two people you should really try to impress are your 8-year-old self and your 80-year-old self.

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Lesson #30: On Regret

Accidents, decisions, and mistakes-regret nothing.

Every experience, even the painful ones, has taught you something valuable.

My 20s were for figuring things out, and now, at 30, I realize I’m not perfect...I never will be.

But that’s the whole point. I’m much closer to the person I want to be, and to living the life I’ve always wanted to live.

And that’s enough.

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On a final note...

If there’s one thing I hope you all remember, it’s this:

So have fun! Laugh like you mean it. Make out like you’re 17 again. Howl at the moon. Scream at the top of your lungs with the windows rolled down on the highway and the music too loud, going way too fast. Love like you’ve never been hurt. Dance like no one is watching. Take chances, again and again, because you’re still going to end up where you need to be.

And live for today. Because you never know if it’s your last.

Thank you for being part of my journey. I can’t wait for what’s to come-Adrian and I moving back home, planning our wedding, honeymoon, and then babies!

Let’s raise a glass to the next chapter.

Cheers to life, love, and the lessons that shape us. To 30 years, and to many more! 🥂